Cat Jokes & Quotes

"The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron."

-- George Will (American independent political commentator, Pulitzer prize-winning journalist & author One Man's America & others)
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."

-- Joseph Wood Krutch (American writer, critic, early conservationist, naturalist Wrote books about nature, the SouthWest, the Grand Canyon, the desert, Wrote biographies of Samuel Johnson & Henry David Thoreau)
"Happy is the home with at least one cat."

-- Italian Proverb
"It is a matter to gain the affection of a cat. He is a philosophical animal, tenacious of his own habits, fond of order and neatness, and disinclined to extravagant sentiment. He will be your friend, if he finds you worthy of friendship, but not your slave."

-- Theophile Gautier (French poet, novelist, journalist, and critic (1811-1872) )
"May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes & rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you. "

-- Unknown
"Behind every successful woman is a CAT and a stash of chocolate."

-- Unknown
"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it's a friend with chocolate."

-- Linda Grayson (Author )
"After a long day of lying on the sofa, I like to unwind by rolling over for a stretch and a nap."

-- Unknown - From the book: "For the Love of Cats" by Dena Harris
"Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas? ANSWER: She was a sher-paw."

-- Unknown author
"Why are cats such good piano players? ANSWER: Because they're so very mew-sical."

-- Unknown Author
"What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? ANSWER: "Pumpkin pi."

-- Enchanted Learning Site
"The soldier, above all others, prays for peace -- for it is the soldier who must suffer & bear the deepest wounds & scars of war."

-- General Douglas MacArthur
"What flies around at night & can bite your head off? ANSWER: A Tiger Moth!"

-- From joke4us.com (The Tiger Moth is one of about 11,000 species of moth. They have dark wings with red or orange spots & white stripes. When at rest, their furry wings fold roof-like over their bodies. --From Encyclopedia Britannica )
"Did you hear about the black cat who ran up the big phone bill? ANSWER: He called Persian to Persian."

-- Unknown.
"Why don't black cats play poker in the jungle? Answer: Too many cheetahs!"

-- Unknown author
"I trust my dinner is ready and waiting for me in its usual spot."

-- An unknown cat (From the "For the Love of Cats" Book by Dena Harris )
"Hemingway named his cats after movie stars and characters in his books."

-- Ernest Hemingway (Author, Nobel Prize Winner, ambulance driver in World War I Farewell to Arms, Old Man & the Sea)
"What cat warned that the British were coming? -- Paaw Revere"

-- Unknown Author
"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more then she to me?"

-- Michel De Montaigne (French author, philosopher (1533 -1593) Essays (Essays))
"Russian Folk Wisdom says to throw a new cat into bed when you bring it home. If the cat settles down, it will stay with the new owner."

-- Unknown Author - From the book: "For the Love of Cats" by Dena Harris