Cat Jokes & Quotes

"What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? ANSWER: Pumpkin pi."

-- Enchanted Learning Site
"The soldier, above all others, prays for peace -- for it is the soldier who must suffer & bear the deepest wounds & scars of war."

-- General Douglas MacArthur
"What flies around at night & can bite your head off? ANSWER: A Tiger Moth!"

-- From joke4us.com (The Tiger Moth is one of about 11,000 species of moth. They have dark wings with red or orange spots & white stripes. When at rest, their furry wings fold roof-like over their bodies. --From Encyclopedia Britannica )
"Did you hear about the black cat who ran up the big phone bill? ANSWER: He called Persian to Persian."

-- Unknown.
"Why don't black cats play poker in the jungle? Answer: Too many cheetahs!"

-- Unknown author
"I trust my dinner is ready and waiting for me in its usual spot."

-- An unknown cat (From the "For the Love of Cats" Book by Dena Harris )
"Hemingway named his cats after movie stars and characters in his books."

-- Ernest Hemingway (Author, Nobel Prize Winner, ambulance driver in World War I Farewell to Arms, Old Man & the Sea)
"What cat warned that the British were coming? -- Paaw Revere"

-- Unknown Author
"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more then she to me?"

-- Michel De Montaigne (French author, philosopher (1533 -1593) Essays (Essays))
"Russian Folk Wisdom says to throw a new cat into bed when you bring it home. If the cat settles down, it will stay with the new owner."

-- Unknown Author - From the book: "For the Love of Cats" by Dena Harris
"Ah! Cats are a mysterious kind of folk. There is more passing in their minds than we are aware of. It comes no doubt from their being too familiar with warlocks and witches."

-- Sir Walter Scott (1771 - 1832) (Scottish historical novelist, playwright and poet Ivanhoe, Rob Roy, The Lady of the Lake)
"There are eleven cats here. One cat just leads to another...The place is so damned big it doesn't really seem as though there were many cats until you see them all moving like a mass migration at feeding time."

-- Ernest Hemingway (Novelist, short story writer, journalist A Farewell to Arms, For Whom the Bell Tolls -- The Sun Also Rises, The Old Man and the Sea)
"What is a cat wrapped in a blanket? Answer: A purrito. "

-- Unknown
"Taco Cat spelled backwards is: Taco Cat. "

-- Unknown
"A drowsing cat is an image of perfect beatitude."

-- Chanpfleury (French art critic & novelist (1820 - 1829) Les Chats (essays about cats including portraits of cats by prominent artists of the time))
"I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through."

-- Jules Verne (French author (1828 - 1905) )
"They stray about the house with velvety tread, like the genius loci; or sit beside the writer's table companioning his thought, gazing at him from the depths of their golden eyes, with intelligent tenderness and intuitive penetration...."

-- Theophile Gautier (French poet, novelist, journalist, and critic (1811 - 72) )
"I love Easter. When else can you bite someone's head off and have it be chocolate?"

-- John Wagner created Maxine for Hallmark (Writer )
"What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolker."

-- Unknown author
"Who would believe a wee ball o' fur could give such pleasure?"

-- Unknown - Irish proverb