Cat Jokes & Quotes

"i worked at a boarding kennel where people leave their dogs & cats while on vacation. I took a cat out of his cage to play with him and give him food and water. Then I put him back in. A few minutes later, he was at my feet. But the cage doors lock automatically when they're shut. How did he get out? When I picked him up, I saw his name tag: "Houdini.""

-- Unknown
"One cat just leads to another."

-- Ernest Hemingway (American novelist, short story writer & journalist Farewell to Arms, Old Man & the Sea, For Whom the Bell Tolls & The Moving Feast)
"I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won't come when I call him."

-- Reid Faylor (Comedian )
"Perhaps it is because cats do not live by human patterns, do not fit themselves into prescribed behavior, that they are so united to creative people."

-- Andre Norton (American author -- science fiction, fantasy, short stories, novels Book of Shadows, Merlin's Mirror, Many books about space travel)
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."

-- Abraham Lincoln (President of the United States of America )
"Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons."

-- Robertson Davies (Canadian novelist, journalist, playwright Eros at Breakfast (a play), Bred in the Bone (fiction-book))
"A cat isn't fussy -- just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor."

-- Arthur Bridges (Unknown -- from www.carrotmuseum.com/catquotes )
"Nothing's more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one."

-- Thomas Fuller (English Author )
"How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven."

-- Robert A. Heinlein (American author -- science fiction novelist, considered the Dean of Science Fiction Stranger in a Strange Land)
"The real measure of a day's heat is the length of a sleeping cat."

-- Charles J. Brady
"Only cat lovers know the luxury of fur-coated, musical, hot-water bottles that don't go cold."

-- Suzanne McMillen (Unknown )
"The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal -- it's also the reason they hate birds."

-- K. C. Buffington (Author )
"Cats don't like change without their consent."

-- Roger A. (Unknown )
"I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a thousand cats to do the same thing at the same time."

-- Neil Gaiman (English author living in America -- writes novels, short stories, comics, screenplays & films )
"Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and get back to you."

-- Mary Bly (Author -- also writes historical romance novels under the pen name of Eloisa Jones )
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."

-- Mark Twain (Author, theologian, musician (organist), philosopher, physician, medical missionary in Africa, winner of 1952 Nobel Peace Prize )
"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food, water, shelter and affection, they will think YOU are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food, water and affection, they draw the conclusion that THEY are God."

-- Christopher Hitchens (British author & critic who spent most of his career in the United States. Wrote over 30 books and essays.)
"A cat's eyes are windows enabling us to see into another world."

-- Anonymous - from an Irish Legend
"The more people I meet, the more I like my cats."

-- Anonymous
"It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (as Alice in Wonderland once remarked) that. whatever you say to them, they always purr."

-- Lewis Carroll (pen name) True Name: Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (English writer, mathematician, deacon & photographer Alice's Adventures in Wonderland or Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass which includes the poem 'Jabberwocky')