Cat Jokes & Quotes

"There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person."

-- Dan Greenburg (American author, script-writer, humorist and jounalist. Wrote 72 books for adults and children. How to be a Jewish Mother, Love Kills, Four series of children's books.)
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."

-- Anonymous - (taken from 'Famous Cat Quotes' by Dave Barry-comedian)
"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind."

-- Cleveland Amory (An American author, reporter and commentator who devoted his life to animal rights. The Cat Who Came for Christmas - (1988) & The Cat Who Stayed for Christmas (2012), The Best Cat Ever - (2002), The Cat & the Curmudgeon - (1991) & others)
"A cat's rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling blue sparks, eyes blazing and sputtering."

-- William S. Burroughs (American Writer, Novelist, Poet My Education: A Book of Dreams; The Western Lands; Cities of the Red Night)
"One sign that you are a 'Crazy Cat Lady:' Your colleagues no longer ask how your weekend was. Instead, they ask how your cats are doing."

-- Dave Barry (Comedian )
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."

-- Groucho Marx (Comedian, Game Show Host, Film & TV star Host of the radio and TV show: You Bet Your Life which began in 1947 and ended in 1961)
"The only escape from the miseries of life is music and cats."

-- Albert Schweitzer (Author, theologian, musician (organist), philosopher, physician, medical missionary in Africa, winner of 1952 Nobel Peace Prize The Animal World of Albert Schweitzer, Out of My Life and Thought, Reverence For Life (he wrote a total of 99 books))
"A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it. "

-- Henry David Thoreau (An American author, poet, philsospher, abolishionist, naturalist, tax resister, development critic, surveyor and historian. Walden, 41 additional books)
"Whether they be the musician cats in my band or the real cats of the world, they all got style."

-- Ray Charles (Musician - keyboard player, vocalist/singer, composer, recording and performance artist America the Beautiful, Georgia, Hit the Road Jack, I Got a Woman & What'd I Say & many more, Quote taken from "The Cat Lover's Compendium" by Molly Brown)
"Kittens are like old comedians. They always use the same shticks. There's the scaredy-kitten stance, the vampy butt-in-the-air move, the you're-so-boring-I-could-die glare, the monster-under-the-sheets attack, and of course the I'm-so-little-how-could-you-possibly-get-mad look. The gimmicks work, so why change them?"

-- Varda Miller (Aspiring Comic - Chicago Quoted in "The Big Book of Cats" by J. C. Suares)
"Cats...no matter what your plans are, it's really up to them."

-- Ann Finnell (Studio Photographer, New York City Leaves of Grass)
"Cats are absolute individuals with their own ideas about everything, including the people they own."

-- John Dingman (Author The Artistic Cat: Praise, Poems & Writings)
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece."

-- Leonardo da Vinci (Artist/painter/engineer/scientist Mona Lisa)
"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."

-- James Herriot (Author All Creatures Great and Small)
"I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat."

-- Edgar Allen Poe (Author The Raven)
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul."

-- Jean Cocteau (Director Orpheus)
"If you want to write, keep cats."

-- Aldous Huxley (author Brave New World)
"Time spent with a cat is never wasted."

-- Sigmund Freud (psychoanalyst )
"What greater gift than the love of a cat?"

-- Charles Dickens (author Great Expectations)
"A house without a cat is like a garden without flowers."

-- Unknown